I Love...I Hate...

In high school I was a master bullshitter--seriously, the best. The only class I ever really studied for was French and sometimes history, essays were written the night before (or morning of) and my best friend Erika and I were pros at divvying up necessary reading or copying AJ's economics/government homework. For the most part, classes were boring and a huge waste of time...I didn't want to sit there and listen to incompetent teachers talk about what they didn't even understand themselves and I found it difficult to sit still for so many hours...it would be quite appropriate to compare my attention span to that of a 5-year-old. I much preferred to spend my time in the College Center taking naps on the couch or making paper chains and decorations for various holidays. "Our Spot" in a second floor hallway and ironically next to the South House office was another favorite area; being friends with the South House principal, nurse and all the hall monitors was helpful in not getting sent where I was really supposed to be. So given my impressive commitment to high school academia, I surprise even myself at what a responsible (and I'd go so far as to say devoted) college student I've become. Whereas in high school it was easier to list the teachers I liked (a scant 5-sh), college flipped that and it's quicker to list the professors I've despised (maybe 2). What an accomplishment (on SUNY New Paltz's part).

So what's the point of this blog? Good question. I've been severly disgusted by the news lately (why are people going on killing sprees?!) so I couldn't find much that I was motivated to offer my "insightful" commentary on (shocking, I know). But I wanted to post an update since the whole point of me starting this blog was to force myself to write on a regular basis. So this is where the above confession fits in.

One of my favorite professors, Larry Carr, is the most adorable little man and after taking two of his classes I actually learned a lot about writing creatively. One exercise he made us do was relatively enjoyable (for an assignment) and I figured I'd recreate it here to share a bit more of myself. He had us list 10 things we love and 10 things we hate. Then we moved things around and created a list poem. It sounds stupid but you'd be surprised what you come up with and how it really helps turn something basic into a creative work of art. Feel free to try it yourself and post it as a comment. And FYI, I think I programmed my settings so that you don't have to create an account to comment, so you people should humor me and stop being shy and leave me some entertainment. Thanks! =)

I love Fur with his distinctive personality, rough pink tongue, curiously cute kitty breath, shiny black coat and soulful green eyes.
I love breathing hard, pushing myself to go farther while my joints scream at me to stop as I run through the streets of Albany.
I love laying outside and feeling my skin turn to a deep bronze.
I love dark roast coffee with skim milk and splenda, iced in the summer.
I love my ridiculous taste in television and music--reality, Disney, drama; R&B/hip-hop, country, rock.
I love living in the center of a bustling, polluted city; cows and mountains just don't cut it.
I love my mother's cooking and nightly family dinners.
I love watching my favorite movies over and over and over and...
I love talking.
I love abandoning feminity and becoming an overly obsessed football fanatic--go Bills!

* * * * * * *

I hate most people--selfish, ignorant, annoying, egotistic, hot messes.
I hate snaps--yes, the kind on coats, pants, purses, onesies.
I hate brushing my teeth within 10 feet of someone else; something about it grosses me out.
I hate when my head invites migraines to visit; throbbing in my temples, at the back of my head, behind my eyes.
I hate when people walking in front of me think it's okay to walk at .00008 miles an hour--c'mon, speed it up!
I hate commercials, the biggest and most repetitive waste of time ever.
I hate sand and saltwater, the way it coats skin and gets everywhere.
I hate thunderstorms that make me hide under the covers, no matter the weather, until they pass.
I hate how my bladder can't hold pee for more than an hour at a time.
I hate how people who don't speak English are taking over our country, and more specifically, NEW PALTZ!

MY DREAM COMES TRUE!...well one of them

As an entirely too involved, over-enthusiastic and tortured Buffalo Bills fan, I've only dreamed of being able to "professionally" write about them--college newspaper, Times Union editorials and blog rants don't really count. And now (as I try to control my excitement and breathe deeply because I'm in the Poughkeepsie Journal newsroom) I CAN! Thanks to my mother (jeez Mom, why are you so good?!) I stumbled across an open position at www.chicksinthehuddle.com. It started as a site devoted to the New Orleans Saints and is now in the process of expanding to include as many NFL teams as possible. It's comprised of solely female writers who share a love of football and chosen team.

Apparently the creator, referred to as "Nola Chick," was impressed by my qualifications and psycho-esque Bills clips...or maybe she's just desperate. Either way, I'm officially on board to contribute to the site--generally two times a week during the offseason and four times a week in season. I will be in charge of the Buffalo Bills section of the site and am told the girls already contributing (about 4-ish) have scored some pretty sweet interviews and attended star-studded events...well celebrity in the sense that we get excited about meeting professional football players so getting an invite to their birthday parties is enough to make our year.

I don't have too much information yet, but stay posted for updates! Also, if anybody has ideas for stories they'd like to see me write, please let me know! Hmm, since the only people that read this blog are my parents and Lisa and Mark, I might have to expand my readership for ideas. Daddy, expose the Cronmillers to my genius...and perhaps your Buffalonian pals? Let's go Buff-a-lo! =)

I'M SO SUPER DUPER EXTRA EXTRA I NEED TO CALM DOWN AND WRITE THIS ARTICLE EXCITED!!!

Psychological Egoists Unite

My previous post suggested that my motivation to write has been blocked. And it was. But after yesterday's Advanced Literary Journalism class with the ever provocative Howie Good who forces you to think outside the box, I'm inspired. Somebody give this man a lifetime achievement award or something, he's truly astounding.

Which brings me to this post. I'd like to introduce you to my kindred spirit and a man who likes to consider himself my "sensei." Sensei is a Japanese title that refers to a figure of authority who has mastered an art form or other skill: art, music, writing, martial arts, or in this case, disgust for humanity.

Meet Mark Klender. From the moment we met, we clicked; our shared understanding of how ridiculous and ignorant this world is was instantaneous. The partner of my dad's friend Lisa (who is seriously one of the nicest people I know and one of my favorites, which says a lot since I don't like that many people), Mark quickly became an integral part of Fountain pizza nights where we would all catch up when I was home from college.

Put the two of us together and you're in for an interesting night. You'll be exposed to ideas, theories and ways of thinking you could never imagine. Your eyes will be opened to the severe shortcomings of the majority of society. You'll realize the ignorance that plagues humanity and makes basic interaction increasingly frustrating. As Mark so poetically stated, "My hatred for humanity grows deeper each day." Sound drastic, radical, egotistic or pessimistic? Then this is your first clue that you're in dire need of our help. Let me elaborate, and I'll try to be brief.

The world is a pretty horrible place. Before you deem me a "Debbie Downer" or "Negative Nancy" think about it for a minute. Crime raddles even the most idealistic communities, countries always have something to fight about, the class separation is blatant and disgusting, we had George W. Bush in charge of our country for eight years and new diseases emerge faster than we can find cures. But perhaps most disturbing of all is that society is selfish and ignorant. I've tried to think of another word to use, switch it up a little, but ignorance is really the perfect term. Nobody cares about anyone but themselves and everything they do is for their own self-gain.

My challengers might argue "what about people who give to charity or devote their life to bettering the lives of others?" Well in essence, there are very few regular, average citizens who can afford to focus on the lives of others before their own. And those who donate to charity probably bask in the publicity they receive for their charitable efforts or get esteem-boosts from grateful receipients (which of course they would never admit), making them look self-less; yet I'm sure this isn't the whole story because those who look perfect are usually the most screwed up.

Chew on this a bit, straight from Sensei Mark's mouth:

"[Alyssa] and I are Psychological egoists. Yes, it is a real term. People are fundamentally self-centered. Basically, we believe that people are motivated only to act in their best interests no matter the effect on others. People are selfish even when they appear not to be, because they are only concerned with themselves. 'F' everyone else. If Alyssa and I could only get this point across, we could show people the ill effects that their real motivations are having on society and help fix the problem and make this a more fulfilling world for all. A world with fewer phonies is a world filled with greater peace and prosperity for all."

This wisdom goes along with yesterday's class discussion about what makes the best writers, what distinguishes recognized ones from epic ones. Howie Good said that you have to have a distinct point of view and moral outrage--embrace it. You need to have an unwavering opinion and realize it is your job to share it. He said attitude is what gives writing style, a particular "warp" or "curve." He cited literary master Joan Didion as encompassing all of this, pointing out that her pessimism for aspects of society is what solidified her legendary spot in non-fiction prose. Is this not what Mark so eloquently shared above?

So Mark and I are not mean, heartless people. We just realize being ourselves is the only way to go and that there will always be supporters and haters of our mindset. We hate fake people and merely have an unprecedented understanding of what the world is really like. We've discovered how to puncture the phony facade so many optimists try to mask it with to arrive at the truth. We have the moral outrage Howie encourages.

One of the main principles of journalism is to "seek truth and report it." That's all I'm trying to do. With Mark's help and my own no-holds barred attitude, I'm confident I will find a way to present the unfiltered, uncensored, raw truth. Maybe we should write a book. Genius.

Blocked?

I haven't been able to write lately; or maybe I just don't feel like it. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with the fact that my baby furball has cancer and a tumor the size of a small mountain protruding from the middle of his back, right between his shoulder blades. Shaved with little pink stitches sticking out of it in four different places, it mocked me all of spring break, taunted me as a constant reminder that it was the reason fur was sleeping even more (shocking) and barely eating (even more shocking). Some people say distress and anguish make good writers even better and this can be true, but not this time. This time I just can't get those creative juices flowing. And this doesn't bode well since I have a paper due tomorrow, another due on Wednesday, an article due on Thursday (which I still haven't interviewed for), summer internships to apply for by the end of the week and, of course, the internship, class and production night. What, a mess.

But even if I did feel like writing there's not that much to write about, or at least anything positive. My mom said I should write an uplifting post, perhaps less critical than my previous ones. I'd love to because contrary to what some might think, I don't always thrive on negativity and don't always want to offer commentary on ridiculous things happening in this ridiculous world...just most of the time. But as usual, the world is a hot mess.

Natasha Richardson died early this week from a fall on a beginner's ski slope. Tragic, freak accident and so sad because I watched her more times than I can count in The Parent Trap. Just today cnn.com reported there were two plane crashes, one in Montana that killed seven children and seven adults and another in Tokyo that killed two Americans. Like I said, not flying ever again. Albany is getting more violent as the nice weather approaches. My block is fine but if you walk to the end of it and go straight or turn right, you're basically screwed. That's just grand. So much for saving money by walking everywhere this summer. I can feel myself getting sucked in by the NCAA tournament which is not good because I don't have time to reconnect with my old favorite team, Syracuse, and root for them since they're actually doing pretty good. Watching Siena muddle through this weekend reminded me why I only partake in one season of sports a year (football)...my blood pressure can't be spiked for so many months! A bunch of my television shows are having their season finales soon (what will I do without Jon and Kate Plus 8?!) so I guess that's good because it leaves more time for productivity but I normally can't function past 9 p.m. anyways so it's really just disappointing. On a happier note, Bolt comes out on DVD tomorrow! =)

I've decided that I need to find a way to get to L.A. for a live taping of Chelsea Lately and sooner rather than later would be advantageous since who knows what my future will look like in a few months. If I can get to L.A. and be within 10 feet of her, I'll be ready to become a real adult and be a part of the real world. Help, anyone?

Well I'm going to stop writing now because No. 1: I drank too much coffee and need to relieve myself and No. 2: I didn't have anything to say in the first place and I don't now so I should probably find something better to do with my time...although my supervisor isn't even here and I don't actually have any tasks. My next post will be phenomenal to make up for this mess, sorry!

It's Nice to Know She's Back

Like much of the Capital Region I was shocked, upset and disgruntled when WNYT let top-rated news anchor Lydia Kulbida go in December. Perhaps even more so as a student journalist on the brink of becoming a real journalist and entering the real world--and because I'd grown up with her, Benita Zahn, Jim Kambrich and the rest of the Channel 13 family. They played a part in my decision to pursue this cutthroat, evolving and currently struggling field.

Kulbida's departure put a damper on my dreams. Graduating early in May, I've been stressed about finding a job. With top journalists being shown the door I feel I have little hope of doing anything close to my passion: writing. All I want to do is write and if I can't write, I just want to be around media; it's where I'm comfortable.

The fact that one of the area's top-rated anchors (admired not only as a journalist but for her actions in the community) was facing the job-cut reality herself, was frightening. I was distressed because I didn't know what she was going to do. Would she move? Would she ever be back on air? Would she take up a different career path? I know that if I can't imagine doing anything but journalism and haven't even dipped my toes in yet, she must feel even more strongly.

Well not to fear, I should have known it wasn't in her nature to give up the fight. I'm pleased and relieved to report that my girl is back and doing 8million things...ok, maybe just five but it's a lot.

I just discovered Kulbida has a Times Union blog, "La Vida Kulbida" where, "From your television screen to your computer screen, Lydia Kulbida writes about media and more. The former anchor is now juggling grad school, freelancing for WAMC, starting a business, raising a family and it's all in one blog." I'm pretty excited; a bit too excited probably. So far, she's got three blog entries posted and if you comment she's great about replying.

I have a little of my spirit back. If she can revamp her life by going back to school, starting a business (I'm interested to see what this is), blogging (about a subject my favorite professor Howie endlessly discusses), freelancing AND raise a family, I think I'll be alright. If there's anything I've learned from her situation, now that my anger has dimmed, it's that as journalists we've entered a tough field but there's endless opportunity. (Again, I should have listened to my mother sooner, she's always saying that.)

Thanks for continuing to give me someone to emulate and something to work towards!

Buffalo Bills Make It So Hard To Be A Fan

It's no secret that I'm a loyal Buffalo Bills fan--grew up watching them every Sunday, have the over-sized jerseys, had that editorial-rant published, been to a couple games. But it's hard to be a Bills fan. They're notorious for breaking hearts. I've lost track of the games I've cried through, the Monday night footballs that made me lose my voice, the number of times I've wanted to shut off a game but always hold on to that glimmer of hope that maybe they'll pull through. Too bad this rarely happens. Through it all, the good seasons and the bad, I have and always will remain a proud fan of the Buffalo Bills. But just because I'm a fan and can't seem to fall out of love with them, doesn't mean I won't hate them for some of their decisions, one of which was confirmed today.

THEY SIGNED TERRELL OWENS! T.O.! ARGUABLY ONE OF THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL AND HATED PLAYERS IN THE GAME! REALLY?!!! BY FAR, ONE OF THE STUPIDEST MOVES THEY COULD HAVE MADE!

T.O. might have the skills, produce the numbers and statistics this struggling team desperately needs, but I think they could have gone a different route. The Dallas Cowboys let T.O. out of his contract last week because they "wanted to improve the atmosphere of the locker room."

If there's one thing the Bills are pretty good at, I'd say it's probably morale...there's got to be something that holds them together and keeps them going amidst their less than stellar performances. I'd guess good team dynamic is to thank for this. Well not for long.

T.O. is notorious, not only for his off-field shenanigans but for his on-field demeanor. He has a history of "making life difficult" for quarterbacks. Trent Edwards is only in his second season as a starting quarterback. He does need solid offensive talent around him in order to improve but it should be positive. I don't think T.O. is the answer. The Bills signed him for a one-year deal for $6.5 million, presumably for this very reason. Maybe it's just me, but that seems like a BIG waste of money.

Also, the Bills have already had to deal with running back Marshawn Lynch's recent and not so recent run-ins with the law. On March 5 he received three years probation, was ordered to 80 hours of community service and lost his search-and-seizure rights as part of a plea bargain for multiple gun charges from his Feb. 11 arrest in California. We (and I mean the team and fans) don't need any more negative publicity or energy.

I understand the Bills are trying to secure top-notch talent to support and take pressure off wide-receiver Lee Evans and to put them back on the NFL map as serious AFC East contenders, but this isn't the way to do it. If anything, they're going to become even more of a league joke and be the brunt of further embarrassment.

It's also extremely important to note that T.O. sports the number 81. While Peerless Price may no longer play for the Bills, he is the only person on this team that is allowed to rep that jersey. I might have to seriously reconsider my favorite number, which will be quite a hassle since I base numerous aspects of my life around variations of 8 and 1. C'monnn!

It's times like these, situations like these, that make it very hard to be a fan.

Bossie Can Kiss My...

While trolling nytimes.com today, I came across a disturbing article that reinforced my strong dislike for sneaky, immature conservatives and got my fire blazing so hot I was wishing it was not 10:40 a.m. but closer to 7 p.m.—late enough for a drink. What made the situation even more aggravating and deserving of Franzia fruity sangria? I was sitting at my internship in a newsroom where I could not exclaim, scream, rant or stamp my foot. So instead, I decided to write about it.

Apparently, a documentary film (and I use the word documentary very loosely, I think propaganda is more fitting) was released by Citizens United, a conservative advocacy group and nonprofit corporation, titled “Hillary: The Movie.” It was shown in six cities and available on DVD and the internet last year, right around the time of the 2008 Primary election.

I was unaware of this slanderous cinema, which is lucky for its producers because they no doubt would have had an Alyssa Jung on their hands harboring an anger registering as an all-time high in her record books—not something they would’ve been equipped to deal with.

According to the article, the president of this advocacy group is David Bossie, a former Congressional aide and “longtime foe of the Clintons.” Surprise surprise. It is wildly apparent that this film was born out of a childish grudge and desire to use underhanded and dirty tactics to sabotage an “enemy.” And what better way to attack the Clintons than to make a robust attempt at ruining Hill’s political career. Mature, real mature.

Bossie seems to have a history of sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong and has been the brunt of criticism by Democrats and Republicans alike. If he can get those two parties to agree that he’s horrible, he must be a pretty shady guy.

The film has commentary from journalists, dramatic voiceovers and “shadowy reenactments and spooky mood music.” It includes interviews with people from the Clinton era in the White House who clearly felt snubbed and want to talk about it. Wow, they seem like really credible sources. It also has Ann Coulter claiming the only nice thing she could say about Hill is that she “looks good in a pantsuit.” Agreed, she does work her multi-colored pantsuits better than you ever could Coulter.

Now, the film is being brought before the Supreme Court on March 24 to determine if it is “electioneering communication,” which the McCain-Feingold campaign finance law of 2002 forbids to be broadcast within a certain time frame before elections.

Citizens United already lost a suit against the Federal Election Commission and was forced to scrap plans to show the film on cable video-on-demand services and to air TV advertisements for it. The Obama Justice Department views the documentary negatively saying it “advances the clear message that Sen. Clinton lacked both the integrity and qualifications to be president of the United States.” It has also flagged mostly unflattering reviews.

Don’t create media that suggests Hill lacked integrity and qualification. First off, she was strong enough to stay with her husband in the midst of his embarrassingly public affair. That in itself takes integrity that I myself wouldn’t be able to muster in her situation.

Second, if you listen to her speak it’s not really up-for-debate that she sincerely cares for the American people and genuinely wants to do everything in her power to fight for us and help us live the best lives possible. If that’s not integrity I don’t know what is.

Third, I still stand by my opinion that Obama lacked the experience, skills and qualifications to be 44th President of the United States (although I’ve since learned to like him) and that Hill with her 30 plus years in government and heavy participation in her husband’s presidency was better suited for the job. I’m not going to list her qualifications here but I’m confident a simple Google search will support my stance.

I’m used to seeing my girl Hill attacked by the left, the right, men, women, you name it and I’ve been personally attacked for my staunch support of her. Sure, I get annoyed by it all but I expect it and I no longer get physically angry. Well discovery of this film threw all that out the window. I’m pissed. I’m insulted. I’m disgusted. I have no tolerance for petty bashing done in so blatant a way. It’s uncalled for, it’s inappropriate and there’s no time for it. It’s exactly what is wrong with our country’s political arena. Because of Bossie and his corporation’s juvenile and ridiculous actions, the Supreme Court is forced to waste time on this case. Talk about a productive use of federal resources.

And you know what really got my goat, what put me over the edge? At the end of the article Bossie said that if he had been forced to choose between Hill and Barack in the primaries he would have voted for Clinton. From my mouth to your ears Bossie, that’s bull, straight bull. I understand you’re a conservative but that doesn’t mean you have to lie ALL the time. Anybody who would produce this film, even come up with the idea for it, would not have voted for Clinton. There’s no way. It would be pure hypocrisy on your part. Oh, but wait—that might not be so unusual for you.

I take personal offense to this film. I can appreciate a quality movie that accurately portrays a political figure. I haven’t seen it but have been told that “W” about Bush was a fair representation of him. If the man was a screw-up, dappled in alcohol and cocaine and is no more than a bumbling cowboy than that’s what’s going to be shown and it’s not slander or defamation. Based on what I’ve read, I’m pretty sure “Hillary: The Movie” is just that—slander and defamation. I plan to get a hold of it (for free) and am willing to bet my favorite pair of shoes that that’s exactly what I’ll find. Stay tuned for that update.

McCain Ruined His Daughter's Love Life...really?!

During my daily browsing of cnn.com I stumbled across this story. Apparently, John McCain's daughter Meghan said in a blog post for The Daily Beast that "nothing kills my libido quite like discussing politics" and that the presidential election "killed my personal life." She went on to write, "Of all the things people warned would happen post-election, no one ever said anything about how complicated dating would become. Especially if your dad loses the election. There are things that have been difficult, but nothing quite as tough as dating. I fear the election has destroyed my ability and desire to date. Now, I cannot say at any point in my life that I have been very good at dating. But I have become something I used to despise: people who let politics dictate his or her attraction to someone."

First of all, she used the word "libido" and alluded to her 118-year-old father in the same sentence--problem number one. Second, I think the fact that I was John McCain's daughter in the first place would be a bit higher on my list of life concerns. Instead of analyzing how her dating life has changed she should be scrambling to find a way to change her name and create a whole new identity for herself. Third, she says dating has become complicated and has destroyed her desire to date but then goes on to say that she has never been good at dating...so what's her point? She's never been good at dating and she's not good now. I would say her father losing the election has little to do with it, the issue seems to be her. Listen, if George W. Bush's daughter can find a man willing to marry her and be linked to that train-wreck of a legacy, anybody can.

The simple fact that the only thing Meghan McCain has to speak out about is her dating life (aka she has nothing to say) shows she really is McCain's daughter. McCain never had much to say except bumbling attempts at debate retorts and exploitative anecdotes of his time as a POW. Like father, like daughter.

She also has a very poorly written blog that used to detail her life on the campaign trail but now is a bunch of nothing. Laugh at it here: mccainblogette.com. If she has masses of people reading that hot mess, and has a paid job writing for The Daily Beast, I should stop worrying about finding a job in May.

I say, shut up Meghan McCain--we didn't care what your father had to say and we don't care what you have to say. There might be a few more important things we should be discussing besides how you're not a good dater...like--oh I don't know--the massive recession, the 46 million Americans without health insurance, the Iraq pullout, anything but you!

If I Should Die Before I Wake...

Last week I was pretty sure I was on my last breath since sickness had consumed me for the past three weeks. So, at the prompting of my daddy (although he probably didn't think I'd really do it), I drew up my last will and testament in about 12 minutes. Needless to say, if it had been the last piece of writing I ever produced, it's not half bad. Check it out

To Whom it May Concern,

As I, Alyssa Anne Jung, hover on the brink of death, teetering above the blistering lava and licking flames of Hell—because we all know I’m definitely not going to Heaven—I would like to lay out my last wishes in a clear and concise manner so as not to have my personal belongings, artifacts, staples of my life, strewn about every which way. Just because I will have departed this Earth, I think it’s safe to say if there were such thing as ghosts who seek revenge upon those who disobey their last wishes, I would be a strong candidate.

Yeah right, I don’t believe in Heaven, Hell or ghosts—there’s nowhere left to go but the cold, worm-laden soil to rot for eternity. I just wanted to leave you with one last bit of my creative persona, a glimmer of the writer I tragically never became. And all because in an effort to secure my future in this delicate world, I was forced to run myself into the ground, conducting interviews for the Oracle, interviews for the Journal, classes here, production night there without a moment to rest, ultimately succumbing to the woes of the common cold and the flu; not the way I had hoped to go down. As Chelsea Handler would say: what, a mess (emphasis on the what). Now let’s get down to business.

I would first and foremost like a closed coffin. I was always disturbed by those formaldehyde-pumped corpses and do not trust someone else to do my makeup correctly. Please refrain from cremation because one of my biggest fears is fire and burning to death. I would, however, like to make very clear that when my precious, adorable Furball must tragically take his last breath I want my casket reopened and his ashes nestled beside me. Take the money from my SEFCU account and hire somebody to dig me up.

Second, apparently I have to give Gregory Patrick Jung my car, at least this is what Thomas M. Jung told me to do. So, I concur that he be required to complete the payments from his own bank account. With regard to my savings, whatever money is not needed to dig me up I allow Thomas M. Jung and Lynnanne Pecheone Jung to acquire. Nobody else. Most of that money is hard-earned and they should take it as compensation for raising me and sending me to college; it is well deserved.

I would also like to make very clear that I do not want a funeral, for being remembered in a church is quite unfitting. Instead, a wake can be held and instead of flowers cash donations to my family should be requested. Just kidding. But seriously, no flowers.

All of my clothing shall be given to a charity after Lynnanne Pecheone Jung picks what she wants and all of my jewelry, bags and nail polish shall go to Lynnanne Pecheone Jung. My shoe collection (tear) can be donated to charity as well…I guess, since nobody else fits into them.

All of my music and DVDs can be given to Erika Christine Savage and my blue iPod shall be given to Thomas M. Jung to give him the song space he complains about. My white iPod shall be given to Gregory Patrick Jung since he has a jazz addiction and will eventually run out of space.

The following items shall also be given to Gregory Patrick Jung for use in college:

15inch Sylvania television, HP Compaq laptop, eco-friendly desk lamp, Lexmark desk printer, Sony alarm clock, laptop bag, dorm pillows, all the storage containers.

To be buried with me:

Elmo, blankie, my cell phone, Hannah Montana blanket, Eric Moulds/Peerless Price jersey and my Hillary Clinton letter. I would like to be buried with my 2 necklaces intact and my large gold hoops.

You might notice that my personal belongings have been divvied up between family and face-less donations. Let us remember that I did not like people.

Thank you for your consideration and respect for these last wishes. Should any controversy arise surrounding the above terms…well don’t let that happen. It’s been a nice ride. Peace.

Fondly,

Alyssa Anne Jung